It’s like juggling odd shape balls, standing on a balance ball, with your eye closed and someone kicking the ball.
Last week, my family faced a small storm. First, my son fell sick, and then my daughter as any parent knows, that meant sleepless nights, juggling work and care.
Just as they began to recover, my wife and I succumbed too. It wasn’t pretty. Try to survive and get things done. We had to drop something.
This experience isn’t unique, and it also brings back the myth that work-life balance is a myth.
We’ve been sold the idea that balance is about equal parts work and personal life, neatly divided into perfect harmony. But real life is messy. Children get sick, we get sick, businesses demand attention, and the unpredictable nature of life means that balance, in its rigid sense, is unattainable.
So, what should we aim for instead?
Integration, Not Balance
Balance suggests a binary approach—work here, life there. But for most of us, the boundaries blur. A more sustainable approach is integration: recognizing that your professional and parent roles coexist. The trick is learning how to flow between them without guilt. Work is part of life, like being a loved one, a parent, a human being.
When my children were unwell, being a dad took centre stage. Work didn’t stop; I adjusted timelines, delegated, and communicated with people around me about realistic outputs for the week. The integration allowed me to manage both roles without feeling like I was failing at one or the other.
Prioritise Presence Over Perfection
In high-performance professions, we chase perfection in all areas, including parenting. But here’s the thing—your children don’t need a perfect parent; they need an engaged one. When I stop working and become a dad, it reminds me that engagement matters more.
If you’re at work, focus. If you’re at home, be there fully. Easier said than done, I know, but this slight mental shift can lead to more meaningful connections and results in both worlds.
Redefine Success
High performers often measure success by achievements, but family life doesn’t work that way. Success as a human means showing up—even when it’s chaotic and imperfect. Business success is about adaptability, not just meeting every goal regardless of personal cost.
When you redefine success to include your health, relationships, and long-term well-being, making choices that align with your values becomes easier.
Stress as a Tool, Not a Burden
That week of sickness was stressful, but stress doesn’t have to break us. It can be a tool for growth. In my coaching, I help clients develop stress tolerance rather than try to eliminate it. The goal is not a stress-free life—it’s learning how to manage and even leverage stress to perform better and live more fully.
Final Thoughts
Work-life balance is an outdated ideal. Instead, embrace life as it is—messy, unpredictable, and full of trade-offs. You’ll be less frustrated and more fulfilled.
If you’ve ever found yourself chasing balance and coming up short, take a moment to redefine what success looks like for you and what your vision is. And if you’re in the thick of chaos right now, remind yourself that being present, not perfect, is what matters most.