When was the last time you were truly present with your children? Not just physically in the room, but mentally and emotionally engaged, giving them your full attention? For many business dads, this question hits close to home. Work demands can often pull our focus in different directions, and it’s easy to slip into autopilot, where we’re there in body but not really there in spirit.
I remember one evening vividly. After a long, exhausting day of meetings, I sat with my daughter, who was excitedly showing me her latest drawing. But my mind wasn’t with him—it was still buried in an unfinished email from work. Then my son asked me, “Dad, did you hear what I said?” That simple question snapped me back to reality. I realised that while I had made time to be physically present, I wasn’t mentally or emotionally with him. That turning point made me reflect on how easy it is to fall into this pattern.
For many business dads, the struggle isn’t just about finding time for their children—it’s about making that time count. How often do we bring the same level of attention and focus that we apply at work into our family lives?
In our professional roles, we’re trained to fully engage in meetings, give our undivided attention to tasks, and solve problems precisely. Yet, when we walk through the door at home, we often leave that focus behind, finding it easier to be distracted by emails, calls, or even our thoughts. The challenge is learning to be as present at home as at work.
Being present with your children isn’t about spending countless hours with them—it’s about the quality of the moments you share. Studies show that children who feel seen and heard by their parents develop stronger emotional bonds, higher self-esteem, and greater trust in their relationships. These moments of connection are vital for their development and incredibly fulfilling for us as fathers.
Imagine being in an important business meeting where every word matters and your presence can influence the outcome. You’re fully engaged, listening, responding, and understanding the dynamics in the room. The same applies at home. Your children may not be presenting a business deal or discussing corporate strategy. Still, the stories they share or the time they ask for are equally important to them.
When present with our children, we send an unspoken message: “You matter more than anything else right now.” This isn’t just about words; it’s about the attention and care we show through actions. When your child asks you to play or wants to share their latest drawing or story from school, it’s their way of seeking connection and affirmation. By being present, you’re building a foundation of trust and love that will last a lifetime.
Presence is the glue that holds your relationship with your children together. It’s not just about fulfilling your role as a father by providing financially or making decisions; it’s about being emotionally available and showing up for them. Just as you would in a professional setting, being present with your children means tuning into their world and giving them the same attentiveness and care. It’s an investment that pays dividends, both in their growth and the strength of your relationship.
In today’s world, technology often interferes with our ability to be present. It keeps us connected to work even when we’re physically at home. While smartphones, laptops, and email notifications help us stay on top of business, they also create a barrier between us and our families.
Many business dads find themselves pulled away from family time by the lure of their devices. One dad I worked with told me about when his daughter asked him to play a game. He was about to join her when a colleague’s message popped up on his phone. He thought, “I’ll just respond quickly.” That quick response turned into five minutes, and by the time he looked up, his daughter had moved on, playing alone. It was a small moment that repeated itself enough times for him to realise that he wasn’t showing up the way he wanted to.
This isn’t an isolated incident. Most of us have experienced it—checking emails during dinner, glancing at notifications while half-listening to our children, or thinking we’ll send just one more message while they wait for our attention. What we may not realise is that these small distractions add up. They send a clear message: Work comes first.
Children are incredibly perceptive. When they see us constantly distracted by our devices, it can make them feel less important than whatever is on our screens. Over time, this erodes the quality of our interactions with them and can damage the bond we’re trying to build. It’s not about demonising technology but about recognising how it can distract us from what truly matters.
One effective strategy to combat this is creating tech-free zones or times. For example, setting aside the dinner table or the first hour after coming home from work as a tech-free zone can make a difference. Fathers introduce simple rules, such as no phones for the first 30 minutes after getting home. One dad I worked with found that this small change led to more meaningful conversations and joyful moments with his children. You show your children they are your priority by consciously setting aside time to be fully present.
Being more present doesn’t require significant changes to your schedule or grand gestures. Small, intentional actions can substantially impact how you connect with your children.
In the whirlwind of balancing work, deadlines, and family life, it’s easy to feel like you’re being pulled in all directions. But in the end, the moments you spend being truly present with your children are the ones that matter most. Being fully engaged—mentally, emotionally, and physically—goes beyond simply spending time together. It’s about creating a space where your children feel valued, heard, and understood.
As business dads, we’re used to making important decisions affecting our careers and families. Yet one of the most impactful decisions we can make is to be fully present with our children. Our presence to our family today lays the foundation for the trust and love they will carry into the future.
While work and technology can sometimes interfere, we have the power to control how we show up. We can transform everyday moments into meaningful connections by setting boundaries, creating tech-free zones, and practising mindfulness. Remember, your children don’t need a perfect dad—they need a dad who is there. These moments? They’re the ones that will shape their lives forever.
Lee
Let’s chat if you want to be more present with your children. Here is the link.
If you find this interesting, take a look at my post about leadership as a dad here.
Or take a look at my video about stress as a business dad here.
